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From Ego to Objectivity: How Comparing Yourself to Others Can Help You Improve Your Skills

It’s honestly not what you think

Regular Guy
3 min readApr 9, 2023
Photo by Desola Lanre-Ologun on Unsplash
  • “Hey, you know how to play the guitar, right? Let’s do some improv — play a G minor and we’ll go from there.”

[That was not a G minor.]

  • Listen, I’m not great with music theory.
  • “That’s fine, we just want to see you perform. What’s your favorite song to play on the guitar?”
  • “Well, there’s this John Mayer song I’ve been working on…”

My friends were too kind to tell me, but I could see it in their faces. I had absolutely bombed. My face was red. I passed the guitar to one of them, and he casually asked my other friend, “hey, in which key do you play Autumn Leaves? I’ll lay down the chords and you can play the melody on the sax.” They were better than me, much better than me. Guitar wasn’t even his main instrument, yet he played better than me. The other guy had been practicing for about two years, but I’d bought my first guitar like five years ago! And yet he was way beyond my level.

It was a huge blow to the ego. I honestly thought I was a much better guitarist than I actually was. But how could I not think that if I’d been playing in my room this entire time? How could I actually assess…

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